


The Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy

by Penguina



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Jim Gordon is in the middle of all this, Love, Lovers' Spat, M/M, Misunderstanding, Old crushes, Sadness, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: Oswald and Jim discuss their marital problems over late night drinks at the Iceberg Lounge. Edward isn't too happy about it because he's jealous and wants Oswald all to himself.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 10
Kudos: 113





	The Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> I found this among my drafts and thought, wow, why haven't I posted it yet? Apparently, I wrote it after 5x11, so I was still quite under the influence of Edward being so jealous whenever Jim and Oswald were in the same room together :D So this one-shot was born. 
> 
> I couldn't really edit it as much as I usually like to with my fanfics, but hopefully there aren't any annoying mistakes. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic!

Oswald took a swig of his drink. "Tell me about it, Jim," he sighed, leaning on the bar. The Iceberg Lounge was already closed, so it was just the two of them, talking. "Marriage can be  _ so  _ hard. Edward, he… he thinks I still have feelings for you." 

Jim chuckled. "Did he lose his mind completely? You haven't had feelings for me for years."

Oswald grinned and laughed. "That’s exactly what I told him too! He won’t believe it.”

Jim tapped Oswald’s shoulder with empathy. “It’s tough, my friend.” 

Oswald tilted his head, only now catching up with Jim’s previous words. “Wait. You mean, you knew about that? About my feelings for you?” 

“Mhm,” Jim nodded with a slightly teasing smile. 

Oswald snorted. “I thought I was being subtle.” 

“If that was your  _ subtlety _ , I don’t want to imagine your straightforwardness,” Jim chuckled. 

“Come on, Jim, there’s not a straight bone in my body,” he tried to joke to hide his embarrassment, but still bit his lower lip worriedly. “I thought I was subtle. I guess I wasn’t.” 

“You followed me around like a lovesick puppy,” Jim said fondly. “It was rather hard to miss the signs.” He downed his drink and poured himself another one. 

Oswald inhaled deeply, thinking about their past. He was not offended by Jim’s words. He was a man enough to admit that they rang with truth. Oswald had been so smitten with Jim back then, in the beginning. “Anyway, you never said anything about it, so I assumed you didn’t know.” 

Jim met his eyes, brows furrowed. He looked very serious all the sudden. “I didn’t know how to react. Things between us were… complicated enough as it was. I didn’t know what to do with a crush in the equation. And I didn’t want to ruin the arrangement.” 

“The  _ arrangement? _ ” Oswald arched an eyebrow, lips slightly quirked up with irony. 

“You know. Our relationship.” 

Oswald giggled and took yet another sip of his drink. “I’ve never heard you call it that. A  _ relationship _ .” 

“Well, we used to have this whole thing, doing each other favors, and--” Jim stopped talking when he realized Oswald was cackling uncontrollably now. “What?” 

Oswald tried to speak but nothing intelligible came out of his mouth. 

“Why are you--? Oh,” he rolled his eyes. “ _ Favors _ is not a  _ sexaul thing _ , Oswald,” he said, but a smile spread across his own face too. “You just took it there without  _ any  _ provocation whatsoever.” 

“Oh, come on! The way you made it sound--” Oswald tried to stop laughing but it seemed impossible at that moment. 

Jim chuckled too, stubbornly refusing to completely give up on his control and properly join Oswald’s laughter. “Alright, fine. It does sound a bit-- double entendre, but you know it wasn’t anything like  _ that _ .” 

“It could’ve been…” Oswald said wistfully. Suddenly he stopped laughing and let out a sigh instead. “There were times when I really wanted it to. Especially-- especially all those moments when you’d-- look at me with such heat in your gaze.” He licked his lips and closed his eyes as if remembering the exact memory in question. “Or when you’d run your tongue over your lips and look at me from head to toe as if preparing yourself to devour me…” 

Jim shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “You know I never meant to actually follow up on any of that.” 

Oswald opened his eyes, coming back to reality. The spell was broken. He nodded. “Yes, I know.” 

There was a short silence and then Jim said, “For what it’s worth, I won’t do that anymore. I won’t-- toy with you like that. And I feel bad for doing that before.” 

Oswald shrugged. “It was what it was.” He sipped from his drink again. “Harvey used to do that to Fish, you know. Flirt and lead her on. I’ve witnessed it. Of course, she didn’t have feelings for him, so it was hardly as effective. Or painful. But she still liked him.” 

Jim’s face was very grim. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty,” Oswald reassured. “It’s in the past now, Jim. We’ve moved on. It’s not like I expected anything from you. I knew where we stood. I just hoped for us to be friends. And… it was nice.” 

“What was?” 

“To have your attention. To feel you grab me by the lapels of my suit and manhandle me around while demanding information or assistance. It was… our thing.” 

Jim frowned. “That’s messed up, Oswald,” he said before he could stop himself. 

The soft smile was instantly gone from Oswald’s face. He sat up, closing off from Jim. “I was a lonely man, Jim. My understanding of being close to someone I cared about was different than the average Joe’s. For me that was the closest I could be to you, so I liked it.”

“I didn’t mean--” Jim said awkwardly but Penguin interrupted him. 

“Let’s not dwell on the past anymore.” He gulped the remains of his drink and looked for the bottle. He needed more. He wanted to be drunk. 

Jim dropped the subject. It was a mistake to open old wounds, let alone criticize Oswald for the way he felt back then. Jim of all people knew well what Oswald had been through. He should’ve known better than to bring that up. 

“So how’s your marriage? You and Lee -- finally together. Sounds like a fairy tale.” Oswald smiled as he changed the subject. “It’s good to see that at least someone in Gotham has it all.” 

Jim shook his head bitterly. “Not quite.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m not an easy man to love.” 

Oswald snorted. “Are you kidding me? You’re gorgeous, brave, noble, kinda dark when you want to be but that’s just enough to keep a guy-- a  _ person  _ interested. You’re protective and devoted…” He trailed off. His eyes met Jim’s and he looked so earnest at that moment. “You’re a dream, Jim. What more does she want?” 

“I-- I wish she’d see it that way too. But I’m not always there for her. I’m a workaholic. When she needs me emotionally, I’m just-- absent.” 

Oswald nodded with understanding. “To be fair, she knew that about you before she married you.” 

“And Nygma knows what you’re like, but he’s still a jealous bastard.” 

Oswald chuckled. “Touché. But don’t talk about my husband that way,” he warned yet there was no real force behind it. He poured himself another drink and lifted his glass. “I propose a toast.” Jim picked up his glass too, waiting for Oswald to continue with his speech. “To happiness in whatever form we can get it in our beloved Gotham. There’s no escaping problems forever, but at least we can face them together. We’re both happily married men, Jim, so here’s to that.” 

“Let’s drink to that,” Jim agreed and they clinked their glasses. 

Silence settled between them after that. As if their bodies were there, at Oswald’s Iceberg Lounge, but their minds were miles away. Jim wasn’t sure what to say, even though he definitely didn’t want to leave yet. 

Finally Oswald spoke again. “You know, I love Ed. But his jealousy is too much at times.” 

“Jealousy can be that way.” 

“I mean, I know all about jealousy. I’m not exactly jealousy-free myself…” he ran his hands through his face. “God knows I’ve done some stupid things because of it. But… I thought Ed and I were past all that. I thought we moved on.” 

“These past feelings, they have a way to stay for years,” Jim shook his head compassionately. “And just when you least expect them, they’re there, out of the blue, tormenting you with renewed force.” 

Oswald nodded thoughtfully. “I just wanted us to be happy together. And now… Sometimes I feel like he hates me.” 

Jim didn’t say anything. He let Oswald talk. It was clear Penguin needed someone to listen and be there for him. Jim was willing to be that someone. 

“He wants me to shoot you, or to fight you,” Oswald continued. “He’s trying to convince me that you’re my enemy.” 

“Is he succeeding? Are you gonna poison me tonight, or something?” 

Oswald chuckled bitterly and shook his head. “No, of course not.” He took another swig of his drink. “Sorry. I just feel a bit down, I suppose. But it’s my own fault. Like most things in my life, I brought this on myself.” 

“Don’t say that. It’s not your fault Edward is so jealous.” 

Oswald swallowed nervously. “It kinda is…” he said quietly. 

Jim frowned. “What do you mean? Is something wrong with you and Nygma?”

“You know me well, old friend,” Oswald chuckled, trying to change the topic without answering the question. 

“You can talk to me, Oswald,” Jim reassured, cupping Penguin’s hand with his. “I’m here for you.” 

Who knew that one day, after everything they’ve been through and after everything Gotham threw at them, they’d be here, comforting each other? 

Oswald stared with his mouth ajar for a long moment, visibly wondering if he should share this with Jim or not. Finally he sighed, resigned. "I screwed up. A while ago we were in bed, and apparently I called your name in my sleep. Ed heard it and now he's convinced I still have feelings for you. He won't let it go." 

“So that’s how it started.” 

“He’s always been a bit jealous of you, but that night just confirmed his worst fears, I guess.” Oswald drank again. “I don’t know why I said your name, it wasn’t even  _ that  _ kind of a dream.” 

“You can’t control what you do in your sleep, Oswald. Ed should know that.” 

“He does. But it's one thing to know it logically, and quite another to actually tell that to your heart. The heart doesn’t listen.” 

Oswald looked so sad Jim squeezed his hand again in hope to ease his pain. “I’m sorry, Oswald.”

"It's really not your fault." 

“It kind of is. It’s about me.”

Oswald smirked. "It's not like you decided to visit my dreams, Jim. If anyone's at fault, it's me. I was the one who muttered your name in my sleep,” he teased. “And it was a rather nice dream, too.” 

“Oh?”

"We were..." Oswald chuckled breathlessly, blushing a little, "we were having a lovely dinner and then we went for a nice long evening walk..."

“I thought you meant it was a wet dream,” Jim chuckled, looking less nervous. 

"Oh! No, not... I told you, it wasn’t  _ that  _ kind of a dream. Ed just assumed.” 

“Did you tell him that? He might be less worried if he knew.” 

Oswald sighed. “Actually, he said he’d be less upset if it were a wet dream. He said, the way it was it felt more like  _ romance  _ I dreamed of, and he didn’t like that. He’s convinced that’s worse than if it were just sexual. He thinks it’s my subconscious telling me I still have feelings for you, and it’s driving him crazy.” 

"Do you?" 

Where did that come from? Jim had no idea. The words were in his head and then out of his mouth without his explicit permission. He regretted asking. So far the conversation was going well with both of them assuming Oswald’s  _ previous  _ crush on Jim was no longer existent. Jim was not supposed to question that. It made things awkward. He hoped Oswald, being the more diplomatic one of the two, would come up with a way to fix Jim’s blunt mistake. He wondered how he’d do that. 

For a moment Oswald just remained frozen, neither confirming, nor denying anything. Then he looked down at his hands, beautiful fingers wrapped around his glass, and smiled sadly. “I-- No. Of course not,” he finally said, but he was still avoiding Jim’s gaze. It felt like a lie, somehow. Unconvincing. Or maybe Jim was imagining things. Perhaps they both had too much to drink to have a talk like that. 

“Okay,” Jim said out loud. 

Oswald swallowed and looked rather worried. "I should go and let you enjoy your evening. I've imposed on you long enough."

“Oswald, wait!” Jim’s fingers wrapped around Oswald’s wrist, firm but gentle. Oswald looked back at him, silently. The look in those eyes made Jim forget what exactly it was that he wanted to say to Oswald. “Do you want me to talk to Edward?” He finally offered. It sounded better than  _ ‘Never mind. I forgot what I wanted to say because I got lost in your eyes’ _ . 

Oswald smiled with gratitude. “That’s really sweet, Jim, but I don't know if it would help. You don't need to get involved in this. I only told you because I needed to share. I needed a friend. I don’t expect you to do something about it.” 

“You know I’m a man of action,” Jim said softly, his fingers slowly sliding down to hold Oswald’s hand instead of his wrist. 

Oswald bit back a smile. “True. I’ve always liked that about you.” Oswald’s own fingers intertwined with Jim’s and he let out a soft, shaky sigh. “I’ve always admired your decisiveness. The way you follow your instinct and just  _ do  _ things.” 

“Lee would appreciate it, if I slowed down a little bit,” Jim remarked, thoughtfully. “She said so herself.” 

Oswald let go of Jim’s hand. “Lee keeps you right. She grounds you.” 

Jim nodded. Missing the warmth of the touch, he wanted to reach out and hold Oswald’s hand again. But he knew it would not be very appropriate. 

“It's nice to have somebody who completes you like that,” Oswald continued. “It’s nice to know someone has your back.” 

“We’ve been through so much--” Jim mumbled awkwardly, not sure what he was supposed to say. 

“I always thought setbacks eventually strengthen the relationship, when the storm is over.” 

“That’s a nice way to look at it. But a weak relationship won’t survive a storm.” 

“We don’t need a weak relationship, Jim. We want true love.” 

Their eyes met again. Oswald looked sad and Jim couldn’t help wondering why. 

“Are things really that bad between you and Nygma?” he inquired, genuinely concerned. 

Oswald looked at him, his gaze a little faraway. “Do you suppose things could've gone differently between us?” 

Oswald was avoiding the answer again, but Jim decided to indulge his old friend nevertheless. “I don’t know. Maybe?” 

Oswald hummed. "I guess it's silly to dwell on possibilities, but I can't help wondering sometimes.” 

“Wondering what we would’ve been together? As a couple?” 

Oswald nodded. 

Jim shrugged. “I couldn’t tell. We’re so much alike, yet so different.” 

“Two sides of the same coin, I’d say. Made of the same material, forged in the same fire, two parts of the same thing. Yet placed on different sides.” 

Jim felt melancholic too, but he would never admit it. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? If we’d be good together or not. We’re happy as we are. Aren’t we?” 

“Oh, sure,” Oswald agreed a little too quickly. “Definitely.” 

Jim took another gulp of his drink. This was beginning to get tiresome. He wanted to talk with Oswald openly, but he wasn’t sure how far he was allowed to go. 

“And you deserve to be happy, James Gordon. The man who keeps Gotham safe,” Oswald muttured, propping his chin in his hand. He watched James with a fond smile, his eyes a little dazed. 

Jim cleared his throat, noticing Oswald's stare. "I should be going. It's getting late and Lee will worry..." 

Suddenly Oswald looked horrified at the thought of Jim leaving. “Wait!” He said before he could stop himself. When Jim looked at him confused, Oswald hesitated, then slid off of his barstool and took a step closer. “May I hug you?” 

It was a surprising request but Jim nodded nevertheless and watched as Oswald wrapped an arm around him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into Gordon’s ear. “Thank you for your friendship. It means so much to me.” Then he let him go. 

Caught off guard by the emotions behind the hug, Jim stared at Oswald for a long moment before snapping out of it. “You’re welcome,” he finally managed to say. 

Oswald returned to the bar and Jim couldn’t stay silent after  _ that _ . “Oswald, you should go home too. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” 

Oswald looked at him with surprise. “What do you mean?” 

“You drink too much,” Jim explained. “I know sometimes you just want to drown it all in alcohol, but that’s not the answer.” 

Oswald swallowed, averting his gaze. “It’s the only answer I have,” he said quietly. 

Jim pursed his lips. “What’s that supposed to mean? Huh? You’re not making sense! You say you’re happy but you look so miserable! You have Edward, waiting for you at home, but you won’t go to him! What the hell is wrong, Oswald? Answer me!” Jim demanded. 

Oswald’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “There’s the Jim Gordon I know,” he said. “The man who won’t stop until he gets his way.” 

Jim put his hands on his hips. “Don’t change the subject. This isn’t about me. It’s about you.” 

“I can’t go home,” Oswald shook his head, closing his eyes as if trying to shut a persistent thought out of his head. 

“Why?” Jim pressed. “Don’t you see you’re just giving him more reasons to be jealous when you don’t spend time with him?” 

“I can’t go home,” Oswald repeated stubbornly. 

Jim rolled his eyes. “I’ll come with you, okay? I’ll take you home, you’ll fix things with your husband, and everything will be alright.” 

Oswald shook his head again. “I can’t go home, Jim.” He looked up to meet Jim’s eyes and Jim saw tears in them. 

“Oswald…?” 

“Please, don’t ask me why,” he pleaded. “Just… stay with me?” 

Jim deflated. “Oswald... I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

"Please," Oswald whispered, and there was such longing in his eyes when he took a step closer to Jim and placed the palm of his hand on Jim’s chest. “Don’t leave me alone.” 

Jim’s heart skipped a beat, his entire body heated up. “I can’t,” he said. “I’ll do something I shouldn’t do, if I stay here.” 

Oswald swallowed. "Perhaps that won't be so bad..." 

“I’m married, Oswald. And so are you,” Jim reminded. 

Oswald pulled his hand away. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry. What was I thinking? You have Lee.” His voice cracked and he bit down his lower lip. “I’m sorry, Jim.” 

“Let me take you home,” Jim offered. 

Oswald shook his head quickly. “No. No, I don’t want to go there.” 

“All this because of Nygma’s jealousy?” Jim asked, feeling bad for Penguin. “You need to eventually face the issue, Oswald. You two should talk about this.” 

Oswald swallowed hard, trying to hold in his tears, trying to hold in everything, but he couldn't anymore. He wasn’t that strong. 

“Ed’s not home,” he finally croaked, the truth said out loud hurting him even more. “He’s not home and I don't want to go back to an empty house.” 

Once his secret was exposed, Oswald finally let out a desperate sob. Perhaps he really was too drunk. 

Jim wasn’t sure about the details yet, but he could feel Oswald’s pain and that was enough for him to want to do everything within his power to make things right. “I’m sorry, Oswald. I didn’t know.” He took a step closer to the other man, hoping to comfort him. “What happened?” 

“He left me,” Oswald said, swallowing back his tears. “I didn’t want to face the reality of the situation, so I didn’t tell anybody. I ignored it, hoping he’d come back once he cools off. But. It’s not happening, is it? He’s gone. Out of my life for good. I lost him. Again. 

Jim pulled Oswald into a hug and rubbed his back. 

“I don't know what happened, Jim!” Oswald wept. “I thought I had it all, but then Ed couldn’t stop obsessing over this idea that I love you. So one day he just said he couldn’t take it anymore. And he left! He didn’t even want to talk about it. Didn’t even try to work things out. Like our marriage wasn’t worth fighting for!” 

The thought that Nygma would do that to Oswald was infuriating. 

“Do you want me to kick his ass for you?” Jim offered. 

A weak chuckle escaped through Oswald’s lips, muffled by Jim’s chest where Oswald had buried his face. He looked up. “I appreciate the sentiment, Jim, but it would be pointless. He’d think I ran to you after he left me. It would confirm his suspicions.” 

“Oh.” Jim didn’t think about that, too overwhelmed by the urgent desire to punch Edward Nygma in the face. 

Oswald pulled away and straightened up. “That's not what I’m doing, by the way. I’m not trying to-- to  _ get in your pants _ , like Ed used to say. I just didn't want to be alone and I'd rather stay with you than anyone else.” 

“Of course. I know that, Oswald.” 

Oswald was doing his best to look more in control after his emotional outburst. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jim asked. 

Penguin just shrugged. “I didn't want to talk about it. And I didn't want you to think that-- that I wanted more from you than just your friendship.” 

“I wouldn’t have thought that.” 

“Well, I told you now, so.” 

Jim inhaled deeply. Oswald was getting defensive and that was the last thing Jim wanted right now. He needed to make sure Oswald knew Jim was there for him, no matter what. Jim was not the enemy. Not anymore. 

“Do you have someplace to stay?” he asked. “If you don’t want to be alone at your home.” 

“I can go back to my office. Spend the night there.” 

“Come sleep on our couch, Os.” 

Oswald looked surprised but quickly recovered. “I don't want to be a bother, Jim. Besides, your daughter is such a big Batman fan, her favorite game is to pretend she’s arresting me.” He chuckled fondly at the memory of little Barbara Gordon. 

Jim smiled too. “She adores you, Oswald.” 

“She must've gotten that from her father,” Oswald winked. 

Jim chuckled. “How is Martin? How is he taking it?” 

“Martin’s good! He's nearly done with school, that little genius,” Oswald’s face cleared up at the mention of his son. “Edward still spends time with him regularly, so Martin doesn't miss him as much as I--” his voice cracked and he had to start again, “as much as I miss him.” He wiped at his teary eyes and laughed to mask his pain. “My mind keeps going back to Edward. It's really pathetic.” 

“It’s not pathetic,” Jim said firmly. “He was your husband.” 

"We've been together for so long. I thought he was my soulmate,” Oswald confessed. 

“Did he leave today?”

“No. He left two months ago.” 

“Oh...”

“The way I act, you’d think it’s a pretty fresh wound.” 

“Two months is pretty fresh. I’m just surprised no one else knows.” 

Oswald waved it off. “We don't make a big deal out of our personal lives, so I guess that's why no one in Gotham found out about it. And Ed doesn’t seem to advertise it much either. No idea why.” He swallowed. “A part of me feared he’d instantly find someone new…” 

“Maybe he’ll come back after taking time to think about all this. Maybe he needed to work on his jealousy.” 

“That’s what I hoped too. But. I’m not sure. I’m giving him space. And time. The rest is his decision.” 

“I’m so sorry.” Jim had no idea why but he couldn’t stop saying ‘sorry’. 

"Jim, please. Don't apologize. Like I said, you didn't do anything wrong. You're a good man and a good husband.” 

“I’m sympathizing.”

“I don't want sympathy. I've been fine without it all my life,” Oswald snapped. Then he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I should just go home. I should stop being a coward and go home.” 

“You aren’t a coward!” Jim said with feeling. 

“I am though. I couldn't face going back to that empty house for more than two months. Who does that?” 

“Some people do. It’s not that unusual.” 

“It’s not normal!” 

“You need to process your feelings.” 

Oswald nodded. “That’s true.” He glanced at the clock and cleared his throat. “It’s really late. I don't want to keep you. You have Lee and little Barbara to go back to.” 

“They’ll be fine. I can stay here for a while.” 

Oswald was surprised at that. “Are you sure?”

“For as long as you need me to,” Jim promised. 

“Well, alright. If you’re absolutely certain…” 

“I am. The Lounge is pretty classy. I like it here.” 

“Actually…” Oswald said, a little hesitant. “Could you come with me? At home? Just... I don't want my first thought when I get back there to be Ed.” 

That made sense. “Okay.” 

Oswald relaxed, his features seemingly calmer. “Thank you, old friend.” 

Jim quickly grabbed his jacket and was ready to go to Oswald and Nygma’s home home. The car ride was pleasant but for some reason Jim had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

When they were out of the car, Penguin’s chauffeur taking off, probably to park the car in the garage, Oswald led the way to the front door, pulling out his keys. 

“Here we are! Home lonely home…” he sighed as he turned the key and opened the door, letting Jim enter first. 

“Whatever you need, Oswald, you can count on--” Jim got interrupted by footsteps and the sound of clapping. 

“Wonderful,” Edward Nygma showed before them, applauding sarcastically. “So, Oswald. You finally come back and you bring  _ him _ with you?” 

Oswald gaped. “Edward! What are you doing here?” 

“It’s  _ my  _ home too, remember?” Nygma growled. “Come to think of it, no, apparently, you  _ don’t  _ remember. No doubt my existence has slipped your mind.” 

“Nygma, that is not true. You’re being unfair to Oswald,” Jim tried to calm the man down. Oswald deserved the chance to work on his relationship with Riddler. 

“Shut up, Jim,” Ed hissed. “Trying to steal my husband!  _ Always  _ hungry for his attention! Playing with his feelings, then leaving him high and dry! What, your own wife isn’t enough, you have to take my husband too?” 

“This is not why I’m here at all, Nygma,” Jim said unimpressed. “I was just dropping him off. He had too much to drink.” 

“Of course, you were. How very noble of you,” Ed said with disgust. “But why am I surprised? Of course you two would be together while I'm away.”

“Away?” Oswald cried out, finally coming back to his senses after the surprise of seeing Ed again after two months. “Away? Edward, you  _ left  _ me!  _ You broke my heart! _ Again! Don’t you dare judge me for talking to Jim! I needed a friend and Jim is my friend!  _ He  _ was there for me when  _ you  _ weren’t!” 

“A friend! Oh, please!” Ed sneered bitterly. “That’s such bullshit!” 

“We are just friends, Nygma. Calm down.” 

Edward glared. “Is that so, Jimbo? Friends, you say. And did you know that your  _ 'friend'  _ Oswald keeps having dreams about you? He wants you! I bet he was trying to seduce you tonight! Taking advantage of my absence. Or maybe you’ve been doing it all this time! Behind my back!” 

“Ed, stop, please!” Oswald yelled angry and hurt. “I love you! Why can’t you see it?” 

“Because I’m not an idiot, Oswald,” Edward replied, grimacing. “And I won’t stop. I had enough of you pining after  _ him _ !” 

Jim snorted at that remark. “You’re one to talk! You check out Lee every time you’re in the same room as her.” 

Oswald’s lips parted and he turned to Ed with a confused expression on his face. “Edward? You were checking out Lee? After all this time? I-- I thought we discussed this and you said you were over her…” 

“I wasn’t checking--” Ed groaned. “He’s  _ clearly _ trying to distract you from the matter at hand. Which is how  _ you  _ still love  _ Jim Gordon!”  _

Oswald pursed his lips and puffed his chest at Ed. “I know what I feel. I’m not the one who’s getting distracted all the time.” 

Ed gasped. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means I had a crush on Jim  _ fifteen years ago! _ Nothing ever happened between us and nothing ever will.” He took a step closer to Nygma. “I’ve loved you for thirteen years. I’ve devoted my life to you, I’ve given you my heart. I share my life with you and I share my mind with you. We have  _ a child!  _ You were my one true love, the only man I’ve ever been with. And you  _ still  _ don’t believe it? How stupid are you, Ed? What has two eyes and can’t see anything? Edward Nygma! Once again -- blind for my love for him!” 

Riddler was silent, unsure of what to say and Jim took advantage of that to chime in, “The past is in the past, Nygma. Drop it and stop being childish.” 

“I’m not being childish!” He stomped with his foot and a dramatic hand gesture. “There’s nothing between Lee and me.” 

“Then why do you think there’s something between Oswald and me?” Jim pressed. 

"Because I heard him moan your name in his sleep!" Edward cried. 

“I said I’m sorry! I can’t control my dreams!” Oswald snapped. 

“Like you’ve never moaned Lee’s name,” Jim rolled his eyes. It was a shot in the dark but he hoped to strike a nerve. There had to be  _ some  _ way for Edward to see reason, perhaps finding the similarities between his old feelings for Lee and Oswald’s old feelings for Jim was it. 

"I haven't!" Nygma declared, astonished that Jim would even suggest it. 

"You, you have..." Oswald whispered quietly. 

Jim noticed how sad he seemed. 

Ed looked at Penguin too. “What.” 

“I said, you have,” Oswald repeated a little louder. “A bunch of times. I pretended I didn't hear because…,” he swallowed, “well, it hurt to hear it. I didn't want proof that you still loved her.”

Ed’s face looked wrecked with pain. They were looking at one another but none spoke a word. 

Standing between them, Jim cleared his throat awkwardly. “I think you two need to talk this out yourselves.”

Oswald gave Jim an appreciative and grateful glance. Ed remained where he was. 

"Thank you, Jim. For everything," Oswald said and then waited for Jim to close the door before turning back at Ed.

Ed’s arms were crossed. He was trying hard to look pissed but there was a sort of regret to him now. 

"Don't give me that look,” Oswald sighed. “I never cheated on you, Ed. I never stopped loving you. I don't know what you're accusing me of this time."

“You obviously still love Jim!” Ed gasped. “You clearly want him! You even went to get drinks with him. I bet you’re not even wearing your wedding ring anymore…” 

The pout on Ed’s face would’ve been hilarious, if Oswald wasn’t already suffering too much because of their argument. He lifted his hand and removed his glove, showing Ed his wedding ring. 

“I never take it off,” he said calmly. “I kept hoping you’d come back. I was so broken without you, I needed to talk to someone. Jim and I went to get drinks together as friends. You left, Ed, and I needed someone to share my pain with.” 

“You… you were sad I was gone?” Ed asked, almost sheepishly. 

“Of course!” Oswald said, taking a step closer. There were no walls between them now, no pretense. He was completely open with Ed. As he always had. “I love you! I don’t have feelings for Jim Gordon. Not anymore. Not in a long time. I admit, I used to. He's handsome, I've always been attracted to him. But it was never love. I don't want Jim, Ed. I’ve thought about it. What my life would’ve been with Jim. But… that wouldn’t have been me. And it wouldn’t be what I truly want.” 

Ed swallowed. “And what do you truly want, Oswald?” 

“You!” Oswald’s voice broke, so he had to stop before continuing. “It's you I've always wanted!" 

“When you moaned his name that night…” Ed shook his head. 

“I know. But Ed, if you listened more closely you’d know I’ve moaned your name too. I was desperate for you, Ed! You haven't made me feel wanted in  _ ages _ ! I’m fat and old and you're still so youthful and gorgeous. Of course you won't be interested anymore, I know that. But it still hurts!"

Ed’s eyes went wide. “What? What do you mean I haven’t made you feel wanted in ages? That’s not true!” 

Oswald looked a little flustered and unsure of himself. He hadn’t been that way in front of Ed for years. “Think about it.  _ I'm  _ always the one initiating sex.  _ I'm  _ always the needy one. You’re usually fine without me, but I-- I  _ need  _ you, Ed.” He sniffled and wiped his nose with his gloved hand. “Perhaps you’ve never really liked me that much. Perhaps it was only my power. Never me… Why are you humiliating me further by making me say these things?” 

“I thought... I--” Ed stuttered. “I didn’t realize. Oswald, do you really feel like I don’t want you anymore?” 

Oswald's eyes were closed as tears were sliding down his cheeks. "Yes," he breathed and nodded. "And I  _ still  _ feel that way. A part of me even thinks that you-- you were just looking for a pretext to leave me. And  _ that’s  _ why you truly got upset about that dream with Jim.” 

“No! That’s not what happened!” Ed gasped. “Oswald, I thought…” It was time for Ed to be honest and vulnerable now. “ I’ve never been worthy of you.” 

Oswald opened his eyes to look at Ed with astonishment. "Not worthy of me? Ed, you're amazing! You're everything I could ever ask for. Why would you think yourself unworthy of me?"

“You’ve always been a better man than me, Oswald. I’ve always been the one looking up to you and trying to impress you. Deep down I’m afraid you’ll always see me as the jittery fool who wanted to become your friend.” 

"I didn't know you thought that about me," Oswald said earnestly. "But you’ve never been a fool to me, Ed. The more I get to know you, the more I admire and love you. You’re not perfect, but you’re perfect to me.” 

A tear slid down Edward’s cheek as he smiled at his husband. “I tried to kill you so many times…” 

“I thought that was just how you flirted with me,” Oswald joked with a shrug. 

Ed chuckled. 

“We should stop that,” Oswald continued, more seriously now. “Misunderstanding one another. It’s silly after all these years. We know one another better than anyone. We shouldn’t let doubt or jealousy creep into our hearts.” 

Edward nodded. “I agree. We shouldn’t.” 

Oswald took another step and now he was standing before Ed, as close as they could be without hugging. "I'm sorry I had dreams about James Gordon. If it makes it any better, they weren't all sexual. Jim's a good friend and he's a handsome man. I used to be smitten with him in my youth, way before I met you. But not anymore. He was my Kristen Kringle, Ed. You sometimes think of Kristen, don’t you?” 

Ed nodded. Miss Kringle was not his one true love, but she meant a lot to him. He understood Oswald now. 

“But I love you. And I wouldn't wish to be with anyone else.” 

Ed took a deep breath and hung his head. “I’m sorry, Oswald. You didn’t deserve any of this drama.”

“I married you, I knew there’d be drama,” Oswald teased. “And I partly deserved it. I can't control my dreams but I can understand why you got jealous. A part of me is kind of flattered that I can still make you so jealous. Even if I am old and fat and ugly.”

“You are none of those things, Oswald,” Ed said lovingly, cupping Oswald’s cheek. 

“I have eyes, Ed. I know what I look like. And it’s fine. I’ve never been handsome or anything.” 

Edward leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the corner of Oswald’s lips. “You aren’t ugly. And you’re not old. You’re amazing and pleasantly round. I love the feeling of holding you in my arms. And you’re quite breathtaking to me.” 

Oswald sighed, his breath hot against Ed’s ear. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m under no illusions about my appearance.” 

“I think age looks good on you. And being thicker in the middle? That’s fantastic!” He blushed a little. “That’s why I got so jealous of Jim… Because I thought he got you instead of me.” 

“You idiot,” Oswald chuckled through tears and lovingly whispered, " _ My _ idiot. Don't you know that I'm all yours?"

“Jim won’t steal you away?” 

“I’d never let him.” 

“Promise?”

“I promise.” 

Edward held Oswald into his arms, burying his nose in Oswald’s hair. “I’m sorry. These last two months were terrible for me too. I missed you so much.” 

Oswald wrapped his arms tightly around Ed, clinging to him. "I missed you too!” he sobbed. 

Ed kissed him, messy and desperate, but Oswald loved it. He kissed his husband even harder, hungry for Ed’s touch. He needed to be close to him, both emotionally and physically, and Ed seemed to want the same. No more Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy standing between them. They had love, respect, trust, devotion, passion and fidelity. Who could ask for more? 


End file.
